These Common American Habits Breach Unspoken Social Etiquette In The Netherlands

The Dutch are known for their open, friendly attitude towards visitors, and their blissful willingness to communicate in English. It is only right for guests to return the courtesy with the best possible travel attitude. When visiting the Netherlands, however, American tourists can unintentionally break unspoken social etiquette if they are unaware of the simplest faux pas, such as wearing sunglasses while speaking to someone. Being aware of a few social cues is an easy way to make your interactions more enjoyable, and a sneaky way to not look so much like a tourist.

The local culture places a premium on a straightforward and direct communication style and making firm eye contact is viewed as trustworthy. These social markers are rooted in the history of the country as a powerful trading nation where trusting your counterpart was a major part of making a deal. These codes are also traces left by the Calvinist teachings which — while their religious significance has faded over the centuries — have become ingrained and are now as Dutch as tulip fields and stroopwafels. As a community that is most comfortable with (sometimes brutal) honesty, wearing sunglasses while talking can be perceived as shifty, or even rude, as it hides the eyes and weakens crucial nonverbal connection. So, by all means protect your eyes — just quickly push up your shades to communicate.

Just as it's a nice touch to learn some essential words and phrases before your trip to the Netherlands even if locals are happy to speak in English, it is useful to learn a few unspoken etiquette rules to show appreciation for their culture. After all, there are many small gestures that cause offense in many countries without saying a word. Depending on your own culture, some of these small courtesies may seem obvious and others more obscure, so here are a few pointers.

Speaking with your hands in your pockets may give an impression of aloofness or lack of interest. Another behavior that may cause discomfort is to not immediately say your name when answering a phone call, which is expected in the Netherlands as a sign of politeness. During a conversation, don't overdo it with the compliments. Part of the famous Dutch directness is to say what they mean, so any over-the-top praise may sound fake to their ears, and whenever you or your guests are leaving, make sure to wave goodbye. It's the little things.

Some etiquette rules are not that serious but are still fun and useful to discuss. Circling back to the importance of eye contact, make a mental note of it when it comes to sharing a drink. As you are toasting "proost" (cheers) when you lift your glass, it is essential to look the other person in the eye. The bizarre superstitious reason to avoid breaking this tradition while toasting is that it could curse you and your drinking companion with seven years of bad luck ... in the intimacy department. Let's just say it's not worth the gamble.