Why Giving This Type Of Gift May Be Quietly Breaking Dinner Party Etiquette In France

It sounds like such a good idea: Before you head to a dinner party — hosted by your new French friends — you make a pit stop at the "caviste" (wine shop). You browse the walls and aisles, examine the labels, and make your selection. French people like wine, n'est-ce pas? And who comes to a dinner party without a token of friendship? You proudly carry this bottle to the home's entrance and knock. The door opens, the hosts greet you, and then — they frown at the object in your hands. They silently wonder what you were thinking. Because in traditional French culture, guests do not bring their own bottles of wine to a dinner party. This is one of those things travelers should never do when visiting France.

To non-French people, this rule may sound counter-intuitive. Wine is portable, social, and comes in all varieties. Among oenophiles, choosing a wine says a lot about your taste and personality, which is a nice icebreaker among new companions. What pairs better with a well prepared meal than the world's most refined beverage? Wine makes the perfect gift, especially for an occasion that centers on food and drink. Really, isn't this precaution just a little bit gauche?

The French see it differently. Picking wine is the host's obligation; they know the food that will be served and the atmosphere they're cultivating. Bringing your own bottle steps on their toes, cramps their style. It's like a guest showing up to someone's house and proclaiming, "Thanks for having me over! I've brought outfits for you to wear and my favorite movie to watch on your TV. Also, we'll be using this silverware that I brought from home." Such behavior would seem bizarre and even insulting.

In France, the fine art of gift-giving has an actual name: "faire un cadeau." So if you're compelled to bring something to your hosts, your instincts are correct. Not every household is sensitive to the wine-bringing faux pas, and foreign visitors will probably get a pass. But there are other, more universal gifts that you'd be wise to consider first.

For example, a nicely selected flower bouquet is a timeless idea, especially for esteemed hosts. You might also go with a box of chocolates — a French favorite — or some kind of craft or artwork. If you're traveling from far afield, travel personality Samantha Brown recommends giving a souvenir from your hometown, which will remind your hosts not only of your visit but where you come from.

If you happen to know some of the other guests, or you have friends in France, you might consult them about a proper gift for certain hosts. French households tend to take dinner parties very seriously, and stages of the meal and conversation can last long into the night. One thing you could bring is a strong opinion: A feisty post-meal debate is a social etiquette norm that catches many tourists off guard.