Breaking This Social Etiquette Rule In France Is A Major Faux Pas At Dinner Parties

Punctuality sticklers beware: If you are invited to a dinner party in France, it is considered a mark of good manners to arrive a little late. This can be confusing if you come from a culture where tardiness can be seen as rude. Just add it to the list of bizarre rules you have to follow in France.

There is a well-established social custom in France known as the "quart d'heure de politesse," which translates literally into "a quarter of an hour of politeness." This tradition allows guests to arrive at a dinner party around fifteen minutes late, giving the host a buffer for any last-minute preparations.

The "quart d'heure de politesse" is not just a quirky habit, it can give you a small insight into the values of French social life. The spirit of this rule is to show consideration for your hosts, giving them a few minutes flexibility for any final details but without arriving so late that it would disrupt the intended timing of the event.

The 15-minute buffer only applies to social occasions where there is a host making preparations. In contrast, it does not apply to baptisms, weddings, and other ceremonies. Even though strictly speaking there is a host making arrangements, it is actually polite to arrive fifteen minutes early so you don't disrupt the proceedings. In other cases, as in an invitation for a meal at a restaurant, you will be expected to arrive at the time of the table reservation, as there are no preparations required from the hosts themselves. This subtle difference makes sense when you think about it, but it is one of those social norms in France that catches tourists off guard.

Strict timekeeping also applies to the workplace and business meetings, where punctuality is "de rigueur." Arriving late to a professional rendezvous would be considered disrespectful and a sign that you don't take the meeting seriously. The same goes for any appointment with French administration, doctors, and in general, anything that does not fall under a social context. 

Among the many unspoken rules surrounding food In France, making a graceful exit is just as important as a considered arrival. If you are invited for an apéritif (or apéro), a cherished pre-dinner ritual, expect to be served drinks and light snacks. A full meal will not follow, unless the invite is for an "apéritif dînatoire," which is a more elaborate cocktail-dinner hybrid. For a typical apéritif, it is polite to leave after an hour or an hour and a half. Keep in mind that the host may have a dinner appointment afterward.

Dinners are much longer, often lasting several hours and involving multiple courses. A good time to say your goodbyes is after you've finished your coffee or after-dinner drink. A good rule of thumb is to allow roughly about one hour from the time your hosts have finished their dessert, though you can tag an extra hour on if dinner is followed by a board or parlor game.

Etiquette is a living thing, and traditions can vary in different regions and for different generations. With the speed of urban life today, and international and multilingual exchanges, the younger French crowd may give some social rules the proverbial Gallic shrug.